Nation of Light

New Blog: Fascination Life

2010-01-12T11:49:00.000-06:00

I'm starting a new blog: www.fascinationlife.blogspot.com

The reasons for the new blog are in the first post. I'll still leave this one up, in case anyone still listens to the music.

Thanks for reading.

Merry Christmas: The Wexford Carol

2009-12-15T10:36:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas, everyone. As my gift, you may download the song I have been working on for the season.

click here (right click, "save file as" to download to your hard drive)

It's a traditional Celtic Christmas carol. There are some really great versions of the song already recorded, but I wanted to put my own style to it.

The Wexford Carol:

Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born

Near Bethlehem did shepherds keep
Their flocks of lambs and feeding sheep
To whom God's angel did appear
Which put the shepherds in great fear
Arise and go, the angels said
To Bethlehem, be not afraid
For there you'll find, this happy morn
A princely babe, sweet Jesus, born

With thankful heart and joyful mind
The shepherds went the babe to find
And as God's angel had foretold
They did our Saviour Christ behold
Within a manger he was laid
And by his side a virgin maid
Attending on the Lord of Life
Who came on earth to end all strife

Nation of Light Radio 2.0

2009-09-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it's hard to pray or feel the affections we know we're supposed to feel. During those times, a song may be the only thing that will minister the the soul. I have compiled a new list of over 100 songs that range from indie to rock, country to hip hop, new versions of hymns, and a lot in between. Most of these songs are probably unfamiliar. I tried to find songs and artists that are not usually played on mainstream radio. Hopefully you'll take the time to listen to these songs that I think have something meaningful to say.

Slave Trader Shopping Spree

2009-06-19T18:20:00.009-05:00

Next time you go to Target to buy a Hershey's candy bar or a can of Coca Cola you may want to consider where you money is going. Like many other companies, they get their resources through slave labor (often children). Coca Cola has a horrible human rights records where several union leaders have ended up dead in South America.

I'm having to re-evaluate my role in global slavery through my ignorant consumerism. The clothes you and I are wearing today were probably made in sweat shops. If you eat chocolate that originated in Western Africa (most chocolate you buy), it was likely harvested by a child who has been abused. Wal-Mart, Target, and the GAP are just a few that have long records of using slave labor.

It gets complicated when it comes to clothing. There are people who argue that while the conditions in sweat shops are not good, most of the workers prefer them to the hard labor of farming. I don't if that's valid or not, but I know that my conscience is bothering me. I know that it seems like this is just the way it is and nothing will change so long as sin remains. However, there is no part of our lives that does not belong to Christ. This includes our wallets and the food we eat. The abuse of people in poverty stricken countries is immoral and we should fight it as Christians.

In the New Testament whole communities were upset that the new Christian converts would subvert and ruin the economy because of the implications it had on their lives. We may have to do some more research on where our food comes from and spend a little more money. We are the representatives of the Kingdom of God and should display His will on earth as it is in heaven. I need to ask myself if I'm willing to give up a quick candy bar fix or the perfect new shirt for the sake of Christ's Kingdom.

If any of you are already ahead of me on the learning curve let me know how you handle these challenges. Here is an informative anti-slavery website.

"learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed"
Isaiah 1:17a

Come & Live!

2009-06-12T19:00:00.001-05:00

I discovered a really inspiring group of musicians who are making some pretty creative music in the name of Christ. Most of these bands are giving away their music, which I'm all about. Go to the myspace site for Come & Live!, or watch this video to catch a glimpse what God is doing in the lives of these artists.

Sharing the Heart of Come&Live! from Come&Live! on Vimeo.

Can We Do Better Than "Repent"?

2009-06-05T18:05:00.000-05:00

I’m not usually a fan of changing important Biblical language in an effort to contextualize the Gospel. I don’t think people are stupid. I tend to think we simply need to better explain the meaning of the words we use (i.e. wrath, sin, atonement). However, “repent” has always been difficult to explain for me. When I witness to someone, it seems that when I describe how they should respond to the Gospel by repenting there is a disconnection between us. The word itself just seems to conjure an image of a fiery, street preacher that is hard to relate to. I do my best to explain what it means, but it is sort of complicated to describe without getting bogged down in clarifications. Are there any linguists out there that can give us a word that means the same thing as repent, but makes sense in today’s vernacular?

Twitter and Tweet Yourself to a Wasted Life

2009-06-01T12:30:00.002-05:00

I’m sure all of us are now aware of the increasing amount of micro-blogging that has begun through Twitter. I socialize in Christian circles where John Piper’s message of Don’t Waste Your Life is often referenced and reiterated. It is a great and inspiring message that we need to remind ourselves of, but I confess my growing irritation with said believers who it seems would rather Twitter about everything, rather than actually do anything.

"[Jesus Christ] gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."
Titus 2:14

Maybe I’m missing something, but the whole nature of tweeting every movement of your life seems ridiculously self-absorbed anyway. Is reporting every trivial step and thought to the world really a life being used to glorify Christ?

I see Facebook updates and Twitter feeds from Christians commenting about reading this book, or going to that conference. I wonder if this is any easy way out for the Christian to feel like he or she is being spiritual and obedient when in fact they are avoiding the actual hard work of being a light to the world. For instance you could be in a store, airplane, or at a concert updating your status from your phone or laptop, providing us all with some sort of spiritual insight, while ignoring the fact that you could actually turn to the person next to you and start a conversation about Christ. Instead you take the easy way out.

This leads to a larger beef I have with Christians who seek to insulate themselves by working their Christian jobs or even those in ministry who never get outside of their own church circles. A big reason I want to be a missionary is to be in constant contact and conversation with those that don’t know Christ. You can wear your “Don’t Waste Your Life” or anti-abortion T-shirts to church within your safety net of Christian friends, but why not bring your message to Uptown or Downtown on the weekend? Why not get a secular job where it’s a lot harder to be Christian than working “in the ministry”. I hope we are not relegating ourselves to safe Christianity where we talk about God, pretending to be bold, while disobeying the Great Commission. Isn’t the sort of hypocrisy Jesus hates?

I realize that I am far from perfect. I struggle with wasting my time in other ways, and I don’t share the Gospel as much as I desire. I also realize some of the irony of this post. However, I challenge those of you who Twitter to weigh it with the precious power of Christ’s death. He has called you to bring His message to the lost and perishing people of the world. Are you wasting your life on increasing amounts banality, or are you taking up your cross and following him? Are you willing to be as bold with someone who has flesh and blood and a soul as you are on the internet? Let’s pray that the pleasures and distractions of this world would not so easily cling to us.

"since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Hebrews 12:1

Don't Waste Your Life

2009-05-17T20:00:00.001-05:00

The video guys at Desiring God put together this video of Lacrae's song "Don't Waste Your Life". It's a great song, and the video is very well done.

I'll Be In the Studio

2009-05-16T10:00:00.002-05:00

When we moved into our home last summer, I was really excited to have my own space for a music studio. However, due to a lot of reasons I wasn't able to make use of the detached garage until recently. After a lot of work and time, my studio is now operational. I am incredibly excited to have my own area to get away and force myself to be in creative mode. Now the really hard work begins. Good ideas are not in short supply. However, the effort to take those ideas and make them a complete song is when it gets difficult. It's even more difficult when my vision far outreaches my ability.

I actually have ideas for about 5 different albums, but I'm going to try to focus in an just a few that seem to have legs at the moment. Some of the musical projects I hope to complete within the next year:

Soli Deo Gloria: a full album with songs ranging stylistically from cinematic to acoustic to industrial and electronica, with an aim of making Christ our sole focus

HYMNAL: an ongoing collection of congregational praise songs or old hymns with new musical arrangements

I’ve also been approached to write a score for a couple of different film/video projects, which I hope works out

If you have yet to check out any of my music, the few songs I have completed are available here. A website should be up in the next month.

Artists particularly love the praises of man that come through their creativity. Pray that my music will be for the sake of honoring Christ instead of self, and that I will be remarkably productive.

The Criteria for a Worship Service

2009-05-12T08:00:00.003-05:00

When we assess whether the worship music in a church service is good or not, we should only be judging by one standard. The standard has nothing to do with instruments: were drums, guitars, a pipe organ, or a choir used? It has nothing to do with a feeling: was I moved, were people lifting their hands and dancing, was it contemplative? It has nothing to do with style or era: did we sing hymns or contemporary, was it pop/rock, hip hop, or gospel? The issue is this: was God glorified? It may happen that we sit in a service where we dislike the instruments, the arrangements, the songs, and didn’t get that “worshipful” feeling, but God may have been completely glorified by the hearts and words expressed.

Black Genocide

2009-05-09T12:00:00.001-05:00

Go to this website: Black Genocide, and make sure you click the tab "Abortion and Genocide"

The other night we watched the movie Amazing Grace about William Wilberforce's work to end the slave trade in Britain. An argument for slavery was that slaves were personal property, and government had no right over their property. This is an eerily similar argument to how pro-choicers argue that the government has no right over their own body. I am convinced that someday we will look at abortion with the same disgust we view slavery. I hope it's soon. Both practices rob humans of their dignity, worth, and life.

A black baby is 5 times more likely to be killed in the womb than a white baby.

"More children from the fit, less from the unfit -- that is the chief aim of birth control."
- Margaret Sanger (Founder of Planned Parenthood)

Angel Story from Nightlight Bangkok

2009-05-07T09:10:00.004-05:00

I want to share this true story I received from Nightlight Bangkok (anti-sex trafficking ministry to women in Thailand). God continue to do His amazing work around the world, speaking to those He has called into His own. It's a little bit long, but worth it.

IM JAI (FULL HEART)

"Im Jai" is the Thai word that translates "full heart." This best describes how we felt last week when God set up this amazing divine appointment. After you read this incredible story, if you feel "Im Jai" keep reading to find out how you can be a part of this adventure.

Mother Dies; Daughter Lives

"Jane" came to work at the bars hoping that she could buy chemotherapy to prolong her mother's life. The doctor had given her two weeks to live and Jane was desperate. It was her first night at the bar and she didn't know what she was doing. After watching her dance awkwardly I called her over to talk. Her body trembled as she told me that her mother was the only person she has left in the world. Her father had abandoned them when her mother got cancer 7 years ago. "If my mother dies, I won't have any one left." Jane was trying hard to hold back the tears. I held her and prayed with her. When we left Jane followed us outside and said she would call me and let me know how her mother was doing. I felt so sad for her. I prayed she wouldn't go with a customer; she seemed so innocent.

Jane called me the following afternoon. Her mother died during the night. She got to the hospital at 2 am; her mother had died at 1:30 am. Jane felt totally alone. On her way home she bought a bottle of medicine to end her life. She started to take it but then she heard a voice telling her to stop. She fell asleep and saw me in her dream. The next day Jane came in to see me. Her landlady was kicking her out and she had no where to go. Jane looked like she'd been crying all night. "My life has no value," she told me. "I have no one." I told Jane that God had heard her cries and had arranged our meeting at the bar. She said she doesn't know anything about God but she had read about Jesus dying on the cross. I explained to her that He did it because she is that valuable to Him. I told her that she won't be alone. She will have family and community here at NightLight. We made plans for her to move in with us on Sunday and start work on Monday. She went home promising me that she would not commit suicide. She said she knows now she has hope.

Jane didn't show up on Sunday. On one hand I trusted God that she was so clearly in His care that she must be okay; on the other hand she had been suicidal and I didn't know for sure. Monday morning there was still no sign. She didn't have a phone and we couldn't contact her. All I could do was pray.The afternoon brought an intense tropical storm. I looked up and there standing at the door of my office was Jane. She was dripping wet. I ran to hug her and felt her shivering so we got her a towel and a change of clothes. She was quite chatty and she looked rested. She then began to tell her story.

Glimpse of An Angel; Touch of Jesus

The very first night Jane went to work at the bar she went up the stairs and saw a very large figure in a white gown standing there. She couldn't see the top. It was very bright and it was holding out a hand towards her. She thought to herself, "What is that? Is it a spirit? It can't be. They are dark, not light." An hour later, we entered the bar.

Jane did come Sunday afternoon but couldn't find us. The Thai church we use for daily worship during the week is just around the corner so Jane asked someone if it would be okay for her to go in. It was quiet and no one else was there so she sat down in front of the cross.

A very tangible presence sat down next to Jane. She felt herself being held in arms and she leaned into the presence. As Jane rested she heard a voice, "not a woman's; not a man's but a beautiful voice." Jane said the voice told her, "Don't be afraid. You are not alone. Your life has value. You are on the right path. Follow this path and I will lead you to good things." There was much more. Jane stayed and listened for 30 minutes. "It was like all my burdens were wrapped up and thrown away." She felt light, peaceful, and strangely happy. It was as though she had a mother and a father at the same time. Jane walked out of the church smiling and laughing. "I'm sure people thought I was crazy," she said.The voice directed Jane and she ran into the employer her mother had worked for the last 20 years. As a favor to her employee's daughter, the employer offered Jane a free room. Jane said she was sure that God had helped her because she had opened her heart to God.

Jane had met Jesus and she seemed ready to receive Him. I asked her if she wanted to but assured her that we don't require anyone to become a Christian at NightLight. I wanted to make sure she wasn't doing it to ensure a job. She said she wanted to, she really believed, she just didn't know what to do. I called Pon and we went into the prayer room. Jane told Pon the whole story and Pon looked at her stunned, "Wow, God loves you so much!!" Jane was amazed and glowing, "A few days ago I wanted to kill myself but today I feel peaceful, I know my life has value and I am not alone."

Pon lead Jane in a prayer to accept Christ. We anointed her with oil and blessed her. I hugged her over and over. "Im Jai" - "full heart." Wow God! So much joy my heart could not contain it. We always pray for divine appointments and for God to send angels to minister and protect. God answered those prayers for Jar before we even knew her name. We had the incredible privilege of being brought into the story and once again witnessing first hand God's incredible amazing love and redemption. The news is out now: Jesus and His angels have been spotted at the bars. Stay tuned! There will be more to come! Thank you God!

Join the Adventure

Right now our greatest need at NightLight is to sell more jewelry. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the problems and feel powerless to do anything. Jane's story demonstrates God's heart for the women but it also shows how God will use us when we make ourselves available to Him. You may not be called to visit the women in the bars but you can still make a huge difference in these women's lives. If you would like to partner with us in saving and transforming these women's lives please consider hosting a jewelry party, buying the jewelry on-line, or telling people about the beautiful jewelry. There was no way we would have turned Jane down even though we have a waiting list. Jewelry sales are down however, and if there is not enough work we cannot hire women or pay their salaries. We know this is God's work and His plan to save many more women like Jane. We ask you to partner with us by promoting the jewelry and telling the incredible stories.

If you are interested in hosting a jewelry party please write to Charity at charity@nightlightusa.org . Charity will assist you in setting that up. Remember the beautiful jewelry is also available on-line at www.nightlightbangkok.com . God is going before us to the bars preparing the way. He is sending us to receive the women and give hope. We ask you to join us in this adventure. Thank you to those of you who already do. You are saving lives!

Perspectives Graduation!

2009-05-06T20:00:00.011-05:00

Huzzah! Last night we celebrated our graduation from the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement class. Perspectives is a 16 week course on world missions. The lessons started with the Biblical and theological basis for why missions exists. Then it moved into the history, beginning with the apostles through modern day, while the last few weeks flushed out the practical ways of engaging a foreign culture with the Gospel. Jasmine and I worked really hard on the weekly assignments and capped off the class with our 12 page report on how to reach urban students in Thailand. I haven't written a report in over 10 years!

The entire course has been invaluable, and I think anybody with any interest in world missions (even as senders) should take this course. I think it should be required for anyone considering going overseas in missions at all. I didn't agree with everything in the course, but it was good to look at differing views; and the whole thing is rooted in Christ-centeredness for fulfilling the Great Commission. Before taking the class I felt the desire to be involved in cross-cultural church planting in an urban setting, but didn't really know what that meant. After this class I now have a clearer picture of how that's done, and I can start to envision many different ways we could reach specific peoples.

The picture above is of our "small group". Our group was pretty unique in that at least 4 of them were already well on their way to leaving for other countries within the year. We prayed with and for each other, as God continues to lead us all into unknown territories, so that all the world will worship and enjoy Him forever.

If you have a desire to do missionary work cross-culturally - take this class! They have it all over the U.S.A. It may spare you from presenting the Gospel in damaging ways and offending those of other cultures. It will also give you a theological anchor you need when times are difficult. I am so thankful to God for this course, but I am also really thankful that it's done.

2:1 Happy First Birthday!

2009-04-30T12:00:00.001-05:00

One year ago today, I began the Nation of Light blog. I want to thank you all for reading, listening, praying, and commenting (I really love people who comment). I also want to thank God for remaining faithful over the past year, and holding my life together. The enemy hates it when we try to exalt Christ more publicly, and I’ve needed more of His strength to keep my faith intact. Without Him, my life would be total wreckage.

There has been a decrease in posting over the past few months. There are several reasons why, of which I choose not to bore you with. However, my time and mental capacities ought to be freed up somewhat soon, which ought to result in more posts.

Over the past year, maintaining this blog has been a positive challenge. I’ve tried to weigh the balance of giving actual insight to my life, but not so much that it is merely a personal journal, nor is it just articles and Christian admonitions. It was my initial desire to inspire and motivate by example others to be more involved in evangelism, challenge thinking, look toward worldwide missions, and continue in personal sanctification. If someone as unqualified as me can do any of this stuff, then surely you can too.

I pray we will continue to grow in the light of Christ, and be a witness to His beauty.

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
1 John 1:5-7

The Unexpected Experience of Sanctification

2009-04-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

This hymn was written by John Newton. It has resonated with me, as I too often wish and pray for the Lord to simply remove my sins out of me. Instead, He exposes them, so I will learn my un-ending need for Him.

I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith , and love, and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face,

I hoped that in some favoured hour
At once He’d answer my request
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest,

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part,

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs, I schemed
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low,

“Lord, why is this?” I trembling cried
“Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
“Tis in this way,” the Lord replied
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”

“These inward trials, I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.”

Short Term Missions Trip Team Openings

2009-04-13T15:01:00.004-05:00

If you haven't heard yet, Jesse & I are leading a short-term team to Thailand this August (Lord-willing). We will be helping BBC missionaries Steve & Nopaluk Cable with their school's annual English Camp. Teaching English is a great way to build relationships with Thai students, most of whom are Buddhist. We will be able to share the gospel with them while helping them with their English. There are also opportunities for other ministries & prayer walking in Bangkok.

Approx. dates are the first week of August. You must apply by May 1. Cost is $2,000. Contact the short term missions office at Bethlehem to apply; Contact Jesse for more info. fascinationjesse [at] gmail dot com.

Gospel Starts with GO

2009-04-12T22:30:00.001-05:00

The Great Commission:

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20

We often ask those who are willing to be missionaries to explain why and how God has called them to bring the Gospel to another culture and country. Shouldn’t we be asking those who are not going, how God has specifically called them to stay? Jesus commands us to go. It seems we have the exceptions turned around.

What Exactly Did Christ Suffer?

2009-04-10T09:03:00.004-05:00

On the cross Jesus lost all the good that he had before: all sense of his Father’s presence and love, all sense of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, all enjoyment of God and of created things, all ease and solace of friendship, were taken from him, and in their place was nothing but loneliness, pain, a killing sense of human malice and callousness, and a horror of great spiritual darkness.

The physical pain, though great (for crucifixion remains the cruelest form of judicial execution that the world has ever known), was yet only a small part of the story; Jesus’ chief sufferings were mental and spiritual, of agony – agony such that each minute was an eternity in itself, as mental sufferers know that individual minutes can
be.

So, too, those who reject God face the prospect of losing all good, and the best way to form an idea of eternal death is to dwell on this thought.

- J.I. Packer, Knowing God

Priviledged Panet: Is Anyone Out There?

2009-04-02T15:15:00.013-05:00

Is E.T. out there? According to recent discoveries, the requirements for complex life to exist on a planet seem nearly impossible. Instead of the thought that since there is so much space, and so many planets, life must be out there somewhere. Rather we are seeing how thousands of factors contribute not only the existence of life, but the ability to observe it and the cosmos. If just one of these elements (like the size of the Earth's moon, or the placing in our galaxy) were different, complex life becomes impossible.

This is known as the fine-tuning argument, which is a compelling thought on how life could not have come about by mere chance. With all these precise factors playing into the existence of Earth, it looks as though we may be incredibly unique after all. If unique, then possibly with purpose.

An Atheist Who Wants More Christians in Africa

2009-03-13T13:41:00.001-05:00

Click here to read an the London Times article entitled "As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God". It is really fascinating to see how people working for God have a much larger impact than those in the secular realm.

Here is an excerpt that I hope compels you to read the rest of it:

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

Choked Out by the Thorns of the World

2009-03-01T20:38:00.005-06:00

The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.
Matthew 13:22

This portion of the parable of the sower always causes me great pause. I see how often the pleasures and distractions of the world choke out my affections for the word. In fact, my time spent reading the word and praying can often be completely sapped after entertaining myself with a couple hours of movies, or Internet surfing.

I see how true the words of Jesus are, and it has me greatly concerned. From this parable, it seems that there is a true warning that the word of God, and any seeming root that it has taken, can be choked out completely. That seems to be the basic thrust of this message. Beware!

So, I have evaluated by what means worldliness seems to entrap me most. I am amazed by how dependent I feel to the Internet. I think to myself, "I must check my email, Facebook, sports scores, download a new song, etc." How did I ever survive without Internet use? It's pathetic, and leads to hours of wasted time. Time where I should be praying.

That's my effort this week. No Internet. Not because the Internet is evil, but because my heart is. I need Jesus more than anything.

Whatever pleasures we seek from this world cannot ultimately be found in this world. These impulses are pointing us to Jesus, who can only truly satisfy. We fast from food, in a way to say Jesus is more necessary than food. Isn't He much more necessary than the Internet, t.v., shopping, or whatever other substitute we try to replace Him with? Maybe it's time for a different kind of fast.

CS Lewis on Atheism

2009-02-24T12:55:00.001-06:00

"Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..."

C.S. Lewis

Blind Willie Johnson

2009-02-19T08:30:00.001-06:00

Blind Willie Johnson is considered one of the all-time greatest guitarists who used a slide or bottleneck. He made several important recordings during the depression era, but remained poor until his death in 1945.

While he is still fairly an unknown name, he has far reaching influences on many modern artists that range from The White Stripes, Peter Paul and Mary, to Depeche Mode, Led Zeppelin, Phil Keaggy, and many more.

Still it’s not his unique guitar style or growling, bluesy voice that really hit me. When you listen to his songs, you feel the trials, burdens, and pains that this man lived through. His music transports you to another world, where blacks were suffering greatly. They lived without much means, justice, or respect. Blind Willie Johnson’s was literally blind, poor, had his house burn down, and his death went largely unnoticed. Yet, he sang about the Lord, who was obviously his comfort throughout all of his hard times.

At the time Johnson recorded, blues music was gaining a lot of popularity, but he refused to sing anything other than spiritual songs. Since a young age, he had always wanted to be a preacher and did not waiver from that desire while singing.

click here to listen to "Praise God I'm Satisfied"

Praise God I'm satisfied,
For me he bled and died,
Well I'm glad to know that he loved me so,
For me he was crucified
Lord I'm satisfied,
For me he bled and died,
Well I'm glad to know that he loved me so,
Praise God I'm satisfied.

Up on the mountain dreary
I wandered sad and alone,
And how well my Saviour found me,
For to claim me for His own.
Placed His arms about me,
And he drawed me to His side, all right,
I might be a child of His,
Praised God I'm satisfied

Well it gave me joy and gladness,
For the clouds He rolled away.
While am I left on earth singin' His praises,
How glad I am today.
Oh such a need had sinners,
For me he bled and died, bled and died, all right,
Now I know I'm a child of His,
Praise God I'm satisfied.

watch a video of "Trouble Soon Be Over" from a PBS documentary on the blues:

Lincoln on Liberty

2009-02-12T16:30:00.001-06:00

"We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing. With some the word liberty may mean for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and the product of his labor; while with others, the same word may mean for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men's labor. Here are two, not only different, but incompatible things, called by the same name - liberty. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatible names - liberty and tyranny."
- Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln was clearly referring to slavery. Yet, when reading this, I can't help but consider how these words could apply towards the arguments of abortion and embryonic stem-cell research. The right to abort directly robs the most innocent and helpless of lives of their rights and liberty. Pro-Lifers say "yes!" to freedoms and liberty for all life, but the true nature of liberty ends when one's strength ends the life of another.

Proto-Evangel

2009-02-10T16:30:00.003-06:00

Over 3,900 years before John the Baptist was alive...

3,700 years before the collection of Psalms were completed...

3,600 years before Daniel's visions...

3,110 years before King Solomon dedicated the Jewish Temple...

2,890 years before King David would reign...

2,454 years before the Jew's Exodus from Egypt...

1,656 years before the Great Flood occurred...

... God made a promise after the fall of Adam and Eve:

"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and
hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." - Genesis
3:15

Approximatley 2,400 years after that promise was written down by Moses, Jesus was crucified on a cross. Three days later he was alive again, crushing the power of sin.

The Gospel was proclaimed in Genesis 3.

"He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but
was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you who through him
are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that
your faith and hope are in God."
1 Peter 1:20-21

Future of Forestry

2009-02-03T15:50:00.007-06:00

Future of Forestry is a rare band that has a great, moody vibe, and rock elements, all while sustaining deeper Christian meaning in their songs. You should check out their myspace page to see how much their songs can vary. It can be difficult to get excited about new Christian bands, but these guys are making some really creative and beautiful music.

watch the video for the single "Open Wide"

The Super Bowl and Worship

2009-02-01T09:00:00.006-06:00

Today millions of people will watch, cheer, and praise excellence on a football field. Little do we think about the love to praise that which great points us to the purpose of our life. How often we joyfully tell our friends about our favorite music, a beautiful piece of art, an incredible act of athleticism, or majestic weather. Praising God forever, who is the giver of all these things, is the act that will satisfy us eternally.

My whole, more general, difficuly about the praise of God depended on my absurdly denying to us, as regards the supremly Valuable, what we delight to do, what indeed we can't help doing, about everything else we value. I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.
-C.S. Lewis

Spurgeon: A God Ready to Pardon

2009-01-30T13:34:00.003-06:00

I recommend reading this slowly for a couple minutes. Let it sink in.

I would call your attention to the expression, "a God ready to pardon," not a God who may possibly pardon; neither a God who upon strong persuasion and earnest pleadings may, at length be induced to forgive; not one who, perchance, at some remote period after we have undergone a long purgation may manifest a mercy which is now in the background, but a God "ready to pardon,"—willing and more than willing—ready, standing prepared, or to use another Scriptural expression, "waiting to be gracious." We have a God who stands like a host at a festival, which is all provided and prepared, saying, "My oxen and my fatlings are provided, all things are ready, come ye to the suppers." Not only are all things ready but God himself is ready, his own heart and hand all ready to bestow pardon upon the guilty ones who come before him. There is forgiveness with him that he may he feared.
- Charles Haddon Spurgon

Lonnie Frisbee part 1

2009-01-28T09:40:00.005-06:00

Lonnie Frisbee was an important player in the 70's Jesus Movement in Southern California. He was an enigmatic personality and street evangelist that drew many of the hippie outcast to the ministry of Chuck Smith and Calvary Chapel. He became a pastor, and many attested to his amazing spiritual gifts. However, he openly struggled with homosexuality and eventually died of AIDs.

This raises a lot of difficult things to consider about the nature of a regenerate person, the actions of the church towards gays, and a lot more.

I recently purchased the documentary of Lonnie Frisbee (the trailer below), and will be watching it within the next couple of weeks. I'll give more of extensive thoughts after that.

One thing that I'll point out is that many gay and lesbian groups would like to use Lonnie as a champion for their cause in getting homosexuality more accepted in the church. However, that would be a misuse of the man. From people that knew him, he always considered homosexuality a sin, and did not believe it was an acceptable lifestyle though he fell into it often.

The Bad Samaritan?

2009-01-24T11:00:00.000-06:00

The other night at around 10:30 p.m. I was taking out the trash when approached by a man in the alley. He told me that his girlfriend had stolen his car, and he needed a ride about a half a mile away. He definitely seemed upset by the situation, and offered to let me hold his wallet. He kept explaining that he had to go get his car, and he was in a bad situation. He wasn't asking for money, just a ride.

I told him that I wasn't comfortable giving him a ride. I had done this one time years before with a beggar, and I felt a little freaked out having a stranger in my car. I offered to call up a cab for him, so he could make the trip, but he didn't want me to do that, since he only had $20.

Basically the story ends with him walking away angry, and me wondering if I did the right thing.

I don't like that my initial reaction was fear and defensiveness. I know we need to be careful, and I could have put myself in a bad situation. Yet, couldn't I have used this to share the good new of Jesus through an act of grace?

The good Samaritan cared for a man without abandon. Jesus told us to give the coat off our back to help those in need. So what if this person might have tried to harm me. I doubt he would have, but I don't even know if that matters. So weighing the options, wouldn't this have been a situation where I could have shared the gospel with someone, while doing an act consistent with its message? God saved me when I was hostile to Him.

I know these are really tricky things to figure out. I don't have the answer. I wonder what your thoughts are. I just think that Jesus probably would have taken care of the man somehow, and I didn't. It seems like I failed this one.

God Glorifying Indie Worship: Hope for a Tree Cut Down

2009-01-20T13:48:00.011-06:00

A friend of mine pointed me to this website for a church in the Northwest. A group of musicians from this church completed a project called Hope for a Tree Cut Down. It's a creative and beautiful album of worshipful songs, with a Indie/acoustic flavor. You can download the whole record for free at http://www.belovedschurch.org/hope/getalbum.php. I highly recommend it!

Forgiver

2009-01-15T13:30:00.001-06:00

Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."
John 8:10-11

Is there someone who has caused you pain? Have you been wronged? Maybe someone close continues to do or say things that dig deep into your side, and they show no signs of understanding how much this hurts you. Have you been lied to, betrayed, let down, or neglected? Then see yourself in these verses.

If Jesus can look to you and say that he will not condemn you for your sins then you can be free to forgive as He does. Notice Jesus does not say "go and sin no more, so that I will not condemn you." The grace comes first, and then repentance follows. If you want someone to change their behaviors then mercy will motivate, not condemnation.

What sins have you committed against Jesus? Have you lied to Him by promising to do more in service, prayer, and devotion, yet giving up to spend more frivolous time on the computer? Have you betrayed Him by neglecting to acknowledge Him in the presence of your friends or co-workers? Have you promised to repent of your consistent sins, while failing again and again?

You can either be one of the angry crowd members eager to throw a stone at the harlot, or you can be the harlot at Christ's feet - free of condemnation. Therefore, if the one whom you sinned against time after time after time can look down upon your lowly state, and mercifully say "neither do I condemn you", then what anger can you hold against the one who has sinned against you? Has anyone done anything worse than binding our perfect Lord to a cross and driving nails through His hands and feet?

Of course it won't be easy. Forgiveness isn't cheap. It cost Jesus His life.

Oh, be Jesus to the one who has wronged you!

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13

New Release: Christ Exalting Jazz

2009-01-06T17:56:00.004-06:00

Jason Harms has released a new recording entitled "The Land of the Fear of Mean". This is a fantastic group of songs that are available for any price you wish to pay. Otherwise, you may download the full record for free simply by telling 5 friends via email. Be sure to check out www.JasonHarms.com for a broader scope of vision behind the songs, and to check out the beautiful album artwork.

A New Year of Grace, Not Resolution

2008-12-31T12:42:00.010-06:00

I've been trying to figure out what to post as the new year approaches. As I considered making a list of how God has blessed me this last year, it started to seem very shallow. Not that marriage or a new home are shallow, but it can tend to sound like a spoiled kid thanking Daddy for all his toys instead of loving his father for who he is.

My failures were many this last year, and there may have been a few truly generous acts of Christ through me. God has been my dear and gentle helper over and over. However, even enduring hard times can be testified to by those who are not living in Christ.

As I look back at 2008, I am amazed at God's patience and grace, but yesterdays graces are not for today. Today has enough worries of its own. So should I just learn from my failures and attempt to make myself better this year? Certainly not! At least not if I'm going to be a Christian.

These words by Dietrich Bonhoeffer helped turn my mind around, and should re-orient us from attempting to gain victory by any other means than total dependence on Jesus:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. This saying, which is found in broad variety of lands, does not arise from the brash worldly wisdom of an incorrigible. It instead reveals deep Christian insight. At the beginning of a new year, many people have nothing better to do than to make a list of bad deeds and resolve from now on - how many such "from-now-ons" have here been! - to begin with better intentions, but they are still stuck in the middle of their paganism. They believe that a good intention already means a new beginning; they believe that on their own they can make a new start whenever they want. But that is an evil illusion; only God can make a new beginning with people whenever God pleases, but not people with God. Therefore, people cannot make a new beginning at all; they can only pray for one. Where people are on their own and live by their own devices, there is only the old, the past. Only where God is can there be a new beginning. We cannot command God to grant it; we can only pray to God for it. And we can pray only when we realize that we cannot do anything, that we have reached our limit, that someone else must make that new beginning.

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Happy New Year!

Silent Night by Enya

2008-12-24T13:00:00.000-06:00

ochi chlulin

Giving Good Gifts is a Shadow of God's Greater Goodness

2008-12-18T17:32:00.005-06:00

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

- Jesus
Matthew 7:9-11

Hey You, Put Christ Back Into Christmas

2008-12-16T08:38:00.010-06:00

Christian brothers and sisters, instead of complaining about the secularization of Christmas, why don't you do something about it? Griping about the behaviour of the unregenerate is sort of silly anyway. Why would we expect non-believers to act like Christians?

The next week is your chance to put Christ in your conversations everywhere you go. Don't just settle to say "Merry Christmas", but share the gospel. Make it a point to be obedient to Jesus. God humbled himself to become a crying, smelly baby in a manger all the way to death on a cross. Can't you be humble enough to obey in telling your neighbor, co-worker, client, fellow bus rider, or whomever why Christmas is worth celebrating?

You don't have to lead anyone to Christ or walk them through a prayer. Just be faithful. Tell someone (anyone!) that Jesus came to solve our greatest problem. The problem is that we who were enemies of God, can know be adopted into His family. Jesus came to die, to remove the barrier of sin and wrath for all who would repent and believe on Him.

This season is a golden opportunity. Nobody will think your weird for talking about Christmas. Maybe your conversation will last 2 minutes, or go for 2 hours. The point is to be faithful to your master. Share the Good News! Do it this week. You have no idea how God may bless your stepping out in faith.

Jasmine and I are going to the mall tomorrow to finish Christmas shopping. I don't enjoy malls very much, but I'll bring a few tracts and look for God's appointments for me to tell others about my Savior. Christmas is about Christ. Isn't it, Christian?

"Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."

- Jesus

Mark 16:15

I Saw Three Ships

2008-12-14T14:00:00.000-06:00

I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning.

And what was in those ships all three,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was in those ships all three,
On Christmas Day in the morning?

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

Pray, wither sailed those ships all three,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three,
On Christmas Day in the morning?

O they sailed into Bethlehem,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
O they sailed into Bethlehem,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

And all the bells on earth shall ring,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
And all the bells on earth shall ring,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

And all the Angels in Heaven shall sing,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
And all the Angels in Heaven shall sing,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

And all the souls on earth shall sing,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
And all the souls on earth shall sing,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

Then let us all rejoice again,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
Then let us all rejoice again,
On Christmas Day in the morning.

God The Son

2008-12-10T23:20:00.002-06:00

Christmas time is upon us. It is so good to have 4 weeks of advent to contemplate the miracle of the incarnation. Don't let this season pass without meditating on what may be the greatest act of God.

Knowing God by J.I. Packer may be one of the most influential books I've ever read. He devotes a chapter on God incarnate. In it he asserts that most people who do not accept Christianity stumble over the wrong things. People express skepticism over the resurrection, that Christ actually died, or the miracles of Jesus. Though there is plenty of hard evidence to combat any skeptics on all of those fronts, the true difficulty ought to be with the incarnation. It seems to Packer that if the infinite creator of our universe could become a small baby who was weak and humble, then healing the sick or even being raised from the dead would be logical conclusions from the greater miracle.

[The real difficulty and mystery] lies not in the Good Friday message of atonement, nor in the Easter message of resurrection, but in the Christmas message of Incarnation. The really staggering Christian claim is that Jesus of Nazareth was God made man - that the second person of the Godhead became the "second man" (1 Cor 15:47), determining human destiny, the second representative head of the race, and that he took humanity without loss of deity, so that Jesus of Nazareth was as truly and fully divine as he was human.

This is the real stumbling block in Christianity.

We hear many songs about Christ the child this time of year, but does this bring us to awe and worship? The divine becoming human was not just an act of power without a deep purpose though.

We see now what it meant for the Son of God to empty himself and become poor. It meant love to the uttermost for unlovely human beings, that they through his poverty we might become rich. The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity - hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory- because at the Father's will Jesus Christ became poor and was born in a stable so that thirty years later he might hang on a cross. It is the most wonderful message that the world has ever heard, or will hear.

If God had not wrapped himself in lowly flesh then we would all be hopeless. If Jesus was not divine, but only a good man, then he could not pay for our sins. Our guilt would remain on ourselves (John 3:18). No amount of gift giving or good will toward man could ever merit a pardon for the crimes we are guilty of. As you celebrate the season in many ways, celebrate the God who gave himself.

the Word was God
John 1:1

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
John 1:14

Christmas Internet Radio

2008-12-08T18:00:00.001-06:00

Here's my plug for good Christmas listening. I like Accu Radio (click) because of the specialized options. I don't enjoy trite Christmas songs about shopping and Grandmothers getting run over. The "Traditional" and "Celtic" Christmas Radio stations are my favorite on Accu Radio. If you've found a good spot for Christmas music, let us know.

Hooray for Advent

2008-12-02T17:58:00.005-06:00

If the fresh snow and blast of cold weather hasn't done the trick, then this should help us get in the season's spirit. I'm excited to start singing Christmas songs this weekend.

Once In David's Royal City:

Once in royal David's city
Stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her baby
In a manger for His bed:
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ her little child.

He came down to earth from heaven,
Who is God and Lord of all,
And His shelter was a stable,
And His cradle was a stall;
With the poor, and mean, and lowly,
Lived on earth our Savior Holy.

And through all His wondrous childhood
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly Maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.

For He is our childhood's pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.

And our eyes at last shall see Him,
Through His own redeeming love;
For that Child so dear and gentle
Is our Lord in heaven above,
And He leads His children on
To the place where He is gone.

Not in that poor lowly stable,
With the oxen standing by,
We shall see Him; but in heaven,
Set at God's right hand on high;
Where like stars His children crowned

All in white shall wait around.

Thank You, Pastors

2008-11-30T13:20:00.000-06:00

Abraham Piper invited bloggers to post about why they appreciate their pastors. There was an added incentive to 'win' the pastors free tickets to the upcoming Desiring God Conference. I seriously doubt that my pastor needs these tickets, since my pastor is John Piper. However, I still thought it was a worthwhile effort to state publicly what I appreciate about my pastor(s).

I don't know Pastor John as well as many in our church, but in my times of interaction these are the things that endear me to him most of all.

1. He listens. I think a true mark of humility is that with all of his stature, he would consider advice from someone like me. In fact last year I mentioned that I'd love to hear an advent poem about Nicodemus. So he wrote it.

2. He truly loves his church. It is a wonderful thing to see that though Pastor John has many things that could pull him away from Bethlehem, he pours his heart into the health of this church. How easily ego could keep him looking for something better. That sort of attitude would create many problems for us. Thank you, Pastor John for over 25 years of service to Bethlehem.

3. He cares about evangelism, and supports us. It can be frustrating when there are about 3,000 church members, and only 4 show up to do street evangelism. It is a blessing to know that Pastor John supports us, and does his own street evangelism when he walks and runs in the neighborhood. In fact, I have had many conversations with strangers on the street who tell me they know my pastor, because he has talked to them already about Christ. It is so great to know that he does not believe this labor is beneath him.

I had written down some other things, but I want to be concise. There are so many things I love about Pastor John, but these are the few that I think set him apart from being just a good preacher.

I also want to thank the other pastors who have given so much to me and to Bethlehem:

Chuck Steddom: for helping me understand how worship teaches the heart, and encouraging my songwriting for the church

Tom Steller: for being so incredibly awesome on so many levels

Dan Holst: your joy is infectious, and for letting me play with the prison ministry

Kempton Turner: for your lights out preaching and passion

Kenny Stokes: for working so tirelessly with such a gentle heart

Brad Nelson: your great attitude and help in getting me and Jasmine to Thailand, and maybe back again

Sam Crabtree: for deliberately taking the time to get to know me and Jasmine, and for always putting a smile on my face

Tom Eckblad: for your patience, care, and wisdom

I thank God for these wonderful helpers. As I write this I am moved at how good God has been to me by letting be under the guidance of these men.

Some One to Thank

2008-11-27T11:55:00.001-06:00

"Thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness."
Romans 6:17 & 19

"He's Alive!"

2008-11-23T10:00:00.001-06:00

We have been studying the Gospel of John in my small group. We are nearing the end of the book, and just went through the account of the resurrection. It made me think of this song called "He's Alive!" by Don Francisco. He was part of the Jesus Music movement of the 70s, and he tells a lot of stories in his songs. This is one of his best, as told from the perspective of Peter after the crucifixion.

Click here to listen to the song

or watch a live performance below:

The Big 3-O No (Memento Mori)

2008-11-22T09:00:00.004-06:00

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-Soren Kierkegaard

Today I turn 30. I'm usually somewhat depressed on my birthday. I tend to think about all the failures in my life. I guess birthdays are supposed to be celebrations of our lives. I tend to just think of my own as being closer to death, and wondering what I've done with myself.

For whatever reason, I have really been looking forward to 30. Maybe it feels like a clean break from all the blemishes of my 20s. Some of you will consider 30 to be young, but some will think it's incredibly old. I really like how it sounds. It sounds... mature, but not too old. I definitely don't want to be a kid anymore. Too many (men especially) are trying to be cool 'twenty-somethings' even in their 40s and 50s. That just seems sad to me. I want to be a man of God, not of toys.

I am just more and more aware of God's grace to me over the last year. He accepts me not because of how well I have or have not invested my time. He accepts me because I am covered with the righteousness of Jesus. God is working in my life, so that it will not be a waste. I am eager to see where I will be led on the mission field. But that's all God's grace too. No matter what I do, I will never impress God, nor will I need to. God's grace to me does not cause me to kick back though. It motivates me to be more vigorous in prayer and service.

Thank you, Lord for my life. Thank you more so for the new life I have in Christ.

"Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. . .
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:4,5,7

Satisfaction! Praising God for Saint Augustine

2008-11-20T20:00:00.001-06:00

For over a year now I have been disturbed with how evil came about in this world. Not calamity or pain, but evil. Sin. If God created all things good, and He desires only good, how could evil have come about? Does God cause us to sin, and then blame us for it? If so, then God would certainly not be good by His very own standards.

I had basically come to a place where I must trust God, though I could not find a satisfying answer to this painful dilemma. All the while God was leading me to an answer that has satisfied me so wonderfully that I've been walking around with a stupid smile on my face.

I began reading the Confessions of Saint Augustine earlier this year. I've been slowly making my way through it in small spurts. These last couple of weeks I began reading about Augustine's great struggle with this same issue on the origin of evil. He had established in his mind that God must in fact be good, but could not understand how evil could exist if God did not create it.

Here is a sample:

And it was manifested unto me, that those things be good which yet are corrupted; which neither were they sovereignly good, nor unless they were good could be corrupted: for if sovereignly good, they were incorruptible, if not good at all, there were nothing in them to be corrupted.
...
That evil then which I sought, whence it is, is not any substance: for were it a substance, it should be good. For either it should be an incorruptible substance, and so a chief good: or a corruptible substance; which unless it were good, could not be corrupted. I perceived therefore, and it was manifested to me that Thou madest all things good, nor is there any substance at all, which Thou madest not; and for that Thou madest not all things equal, therefore are all things; because each is good, and altogether very good, because our God made all things very good.

I'm not going to into the full discourse here on how Augustine came to a remedy the problem of evil's origin. I recommend reading for yourself, starting in book 7 of the Confessions. However, for the time being, Greg Koukl has written a fantastic and succinct explanation of Augustine's conclusions. Click here to read Greg Koukl explain and elaborate on this issue. It is right on the money.

What I'm really so happy about is that I found the answer that is completely satisfying to my intellect and more importantly, my soul. Christianity is not based upon a blind leap of faith, but it is grounded in truth and reality. God doesn't ask us to believe in Him against all sense and logic. Great minds like Augustine have battled through intellectual barriers before us. These profound truths are not a mere intellectual point though. They are the truth of God himself, and the more He is seen, the more beautiful he becomes to us.

Lord, thank you for Augustine. Thank you for the grace you've given that I could read the words he wrote centuries ago to provide the perfect medicine for me today.

God is trustworthy. God is faithful. God is good!

Son of Sam

2008-11-19T14:00:00.000-06:00

David Berkowitz was a serial killer in New York during the late '70s. This is the story of how God saved him. I believe that this man is now my brother in Christ. I may see him some day in glory, and we will both be amazed that God would be so merciful as to save two horrible sinners like us.

This testimony brought tears to my eyes. I highly recommend that you take 20 minutes out of your schedule to watch these videos.While there was definitely some demonic activity and bad circumstances in Berkowitz's life, he takes full responsibility for his sins and his actions. That is the beginning of true repentance. God gives grace to the humble.

part 1:

part 2:

part 3:

This is such a perfect illustration of the Gospel. It's easy to be offended at the thought of a brutal serial killer being forgiven and welcomed into heaven, but do we ever ask God how he could be just to let us go free? It would be an outright injustice if God forgave this man or any other, for no reason. However, the punishment he deserved was dealt with when Jesus willingly went to the cross. David received this gift of grace. The question is, what about the punishment you deserve? How will your guilt be dealt with? Maybe our sins are not as grievous as this man's, but they still must be accounted for, and they are serious. Sin must be punished eternally in hell, or in the body of Christ.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Romans 5:6-11

Where's the Gospel?

2008-11-16T10:00:00.003-06:00

"If Jesus had preached the same message that ministers preach today, He would never have been crucified."

-Leonard Ravenhill

Joel Osteen

Paula White

Brian McLaren

T.D. Jakes

Katherine Jefferts Schori

Prayer Meeting

2008-11-14T14:00:00.001-06:00

"The power of prayer has never been tried to its full capacity in any church. If we want to see mighty wonders of divine grace and power wrought in the place of weakness, failure and disappointment, let the whole Church answer God's standing challenged; "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knows not."

- Hudson Taylor

Please join a gathering for a prayer meeting tonight (Friday) at Bethlehem Baptist Church downtown. We'll be meeting at 8 pm in the main commons. We will worship by singing and praying together, with a specific focus on renewal in evangelism.

Petra Means ROCK!

2008-11-13T10:00:00.001-06:00

This is just amazing. The guy's drum set is out of hand, and I'm pretty sure I saw a keytar in there too.

Be Doubtful of Doubt

2008-11-12T11:52:00.013-06:00

This is somewhat of a follow up to my previous post... How to Doubt

Once in a while I will get hit with doubt. Some of it is silly stuff, that I can usually refute with truths about reality and God. However, sometimes it's a lot worse, and in fact there have been moments where I've felt nearly delirious. The problem arises when I contemplate some of the really deep theological things about God's character and the means of accomplishing His plans.

A couple of weeks ago the fog was particularly thick. My doubt seemed to stem from suspicions of God. Some of my thoughts were, "How can I really know who God is? What if God simply made everything in the Bible appear true and compelling, but it was actually a big horrible joke?"

The problem was not that I didn't find the Bible evidential or grounded in reality, but how could I know that there wasn't a more devious reality behind it? If that is so, then this life is futile. Nothing could be worse than futility. How could anyone live if there was absolutely no point in anything. Any striving to either be good or enjoy evil are ultimately going to end in the same place. How could I know anything at all about reality, if God is actually keeping vindictive secrets?

The problems with believing this though become self-refuting, and I had no choice but to doubt those doubts, and trust in what I did know. If God is secretly playing a game with us then there would be no possible way for anyone to know this. In fact it would not even be possible to know that I know that.

The Bible is God communicating who He is to us. He describes His character as being pure, true, loving, and in fact He says that He cannot lie.

On my lunch break, I opened my Bible and read the verse everyone knows:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Either that is true, or it is not. Either God loved the world by sending His son to take away my sins, or He did not. Whoever God is, He cannot be a contradiction.

I also read a quote by Soren Kierkegaard, that helped settle my soul:

If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe.

There are millions of "how's" about God that I will not be able to understand, and I can know that this is a testament to His reality.

I don't know if what I've experienced is normal for someone who tries to push through to knowing the truth about God, or if I was under a spiritual attack. Faith is a difficult thing. We have not seen Jesus face to face, nor do many of us get to see miracles. Yet I am convinced that Jesus was who He said He was, and I am a sinner who needs Him.

In a strange way though, my doubting has given me more assurance of my belief. If I did not believe in Christ, then this struggle over my faith not be so significant. In fact it is a monumental testament that God is working in me, to strengthen my faith, and show that He never went anywhere, even while I had my doubts.

If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
Psalm 139:8

North Korea Persecution

2008-11-05T09:27:00.005-06:00

Before all of the conservative voters out there start freaking out about how this country is now headed for hell, let's get some real perspective. If you live in a America, your freedom from severe persecution is an anomoly in the history of Christianity. People that confess Jesus as their Lord are being tortured and murdered right now (http://www.persecution.com/) for that faith. This in fact has been the norm since Jesus' departure. So, please thank God for your freedom. Thank God that you were not a believer under Nero, and let's start using the spoils of this country for strengthening the global church.

Please watch this video about recent perscution in North Korea. (pause the music player>)

Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy— wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.

Hebrews 11:36-40

Voting for Life

2008-11-03T07:27:00.009-06:00

I admit that Obama has plenty of attractive qualities that are drawing many people to vote for him. However, even people who consider themselves pro-life seem to be buying into the idea that he somehow will work with them for their cause, but it needs to be very clear... Obama has no intent of helping the pro-life cause, and his voting record is an extreme pro-abortion stance. He favors partial birth abortion, late term abortion, using human embryos for scientific research, and even using tax dollars to fund abortion. He's an exceptional speaker and eloquent in many aspects, but his presidency would destroy all the progress that has been made in overturning Roe vs. Wade through the supreme court. Our next president will have a monumental impact on the abortion laws through their apointment of judges to the supreme court.

Consider your conscience, and what God values as the highest priorities when casting your vote. I believe the protection of the lives of unborn children should be the highest priority. Let's make abortion as unthinkable as slavery (click here).

Start spreading the word: Abort73 Graphics / Abort73 Shirts

How to Doubt

2008-10-31T11:01:00.006-05:00

I'm not sure how many of you struggle with doubts. I doubt that anyone doesn't in some respects. However, if you this has not been a sore spot for you, then you will likely come across someone is troubled with doubts. For someone who really tries to think deeply, and find satisfying answers about God, doubts can often wreak havoc.

Here's an article by C.J. Mahaney about a book that Os Guiness wrote on doubt (click here). Take a few minutes to read thought it. Here's an excerpt:

Problems strike us all differently. What is trivial to one
person may raise titanic questions for someone else. Some people face doubt only
if they find no answer; others trigger doubts merely by raising
questions.

Something Must Break

2008-10-24T22:00:00.001-05:00

"The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self--all your wishes and precautions--to Christ."

- C.S. Lewis

Since returning home, there has been so much battling in my soul. I have definitely felt the calling to be a "go-er" in missions. However, I cannot go any further with the current state of my sinful heart. I have been confronted with the demands that Christ places on those who will serve in His name. And I have drawn back in fear.

I do not trust God... at least not completely. I fear that what He will take from me will be too much. My comforts. My ease. My sins. I realize that if I am to begin down the road of being a missionary that it will be full of pain, persecution, and possibly worse.

Why am I so suspicious of God? We all are in some ways. Instead of trusting that God will judge rightly, we throw fits of anger (possibly while driving). Instead of trusting God will really provide for our physical needs we fret, and are anxious. Instead of trusting that God holds pleasures forevermore in His right hand, we go shopping, eat, lust, or turn to worldly other pleasures for fulfillment, while rejecting His promises.

I feel as though I'm coming to a point in the road, that Jesus is saying, "will you follow me, or not? You must count the cost, and choose". I know what I want to say, but I have a hard time saying it. I don't believe myself. After all my failures, how can I say "yes", and never look back. But it certainly feels that way. I cannot serve two masters. Jesus will not share me with the enemy. Something must break.

There are those in the Bible, and many I've seen in my own life, that at one time confessed Jesus as Lord, but have fallen away. The book of Hebrews warns about neglecting the salvation that is offered. I must turn away from all the sins that bring me so much ease and comfort (but end in bitterness), or turn to God and embrace the cross every day. So much fear covers me when I contemplate what it will take to completely follow Christ. Yet, I am so aware that only death and regret will follow me down the path of Godlessness. I know what I want, but am afraid of what it will take to behold it.

"With what scourges of rebuke did I not whip my soul to make it follow me, as I was struggling to go after You? Yet it drew back. My soul refused and would not make an effort. All its arguments were exhausted and refuted, but it resisted in sullen unrest, fearing the cutting off of the habit by which it was being wasted to death, as if that were death itself"

- Augustine (Confessions)

Prayer Request: My Ailing Nephew

2008-10-17T11:34:00.003-05:00

Please pray for my nephew, Winslow. He has been suffering from a really bad cough for weeks now, and there has not been improvement. He is only 1 year old, so there's something seriously wrong with his little body. If you can, as soon as you finish reading this, please take a couple minutes to ask God to heal him quickly, and restore his health. Thanks.

The Work of God in China

2008-10-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

This is an exciting video about a work God has done in a corner of China. This is from a ministry called Open Doors USA.

(pause the music player before watching >)

Disconnected Emotions and Thoughts

2008-10-10T07:36:00.022-05:00

We've been home almost a week now, and I can't really describe how I feel or what I'm thinking. There's so much going on, and it's so difficult to process. As soon as I recall how wonderful something was in Thailand I become pained with that loss. Or I remember how impossible some temptations were, and I think I'm glad to be home. I can't organize or summarize anything right now. I feel so many things at once. I'm so sad in so many ways, but so thankful that God kept me, and has shown me a lot through our trip. Instead of waiting until I figure everything out, I'm just going list all the things that have been stirring around inside of me:

* I miss spending the whole day with my wife, and working with her
* God has given me a special love and ability to share the Gospel (especially one on one)
* Thailand desperately needs more growth in Biblical teaching
* I love and miss Bethlehem, but we are crappy at community fellowship and evangelism
* Americans are unfashionable and obese
* I don't want to sit in a cubicle for 2 more years (or 1 more week for that matter)
* I'm not smiling as much
* I really want a Thai massage for 300 Baht (about $10)
* Like most Americans, I feel way too entitled to ease, comforts, and respect
* I want to spend the afternoon playing Sequence, Phase 10, and Speed Scrabble with students
* I love the clean, autumn air in Minneapolis... and the changing leaves... and the quiet
* Minneapolis is a really small city
* I don't know what to do
* I want to be a missionary
* I'm too weak to be a missionary
* I'm craving Thai food, but can't bring myself to spend $12 on a dish here in the states, when it's $2 in Bangkok and probably tastes better
* Mint or Yim (students) are so close, I'm sure if I could stay 2 more months that I'd see them make a profession of faith in Christ
* I want to serve the Lord, but my incapability drives me to despair
* I love the Thai culture that is polite, helpful, exotic, and humble
* I hate the Thai culture that is demonic, perverted, and indifferent towards those things
* Where do I belong?
* Why am I so sad?
* I need to be praying more

Please forgive me if any of this comes out wrong. I truly believe that my five weeks in Thailand was one of the best, and most important periods of my life. I just don't know how to fully think about it yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to discern through all of these things with Godly wisdom and love.

home

2008-10-07T10:26:00.006-05:00

It is good to be home.
But we miss Thailand, our students, our friends..

p.s.

2008-10-04T00:55:00.002-05:00

Also, YOU should consider spending a month (or 2 or 3) in Bangkok, teaching English and sharing the gospel. You won't regret it.

Santisuk English School

i've got Seoul

2008-10-04T00:29:00.004-05:00

hello from the Seoul, Korea Incheon Airport. Jesse and I have an 8 hour layover here, but its actually been quite enjoyable. We've been able to catch up on some sleep, take a hot shower, and eat not-asian food. :) We fly into LAX at 11:30am Saturday- it is currently 2:30pm Saturday here in Korea.

Thank you for all your prayers. We saw God work through them during our time in Thailand. I am both sad and happy to be coming home. I will miss our students and the friends we made in Bangkok very much. Please continue for pray for them, for the school and church, and for the missionaries that are there long-term.

We look forward to seeing you in a few days. Sawatdee Kaa.

Farewell to the Land of Smiles

2008-10-03T04:22:00.012-05:00

On Wednesday we had our last day of teaching at Santisuk. We spent the afternoon with our students. We spent Thursday night bowling and singing karaoke with students from our night classes. A part of me deeply wants to stay, and continue developing the relationships we have begun. I feel like we have invested our hearts and efforts in these people. We care deeply for them, and there is definitely some pain in our departure.

I know my previous post had some ominous tones to it, but right now I am reflecting on how much God has blessed this mission trip. I have handed out a lot of tracts to students and on the streets. We have had many deep conversations with students and church attenders about Christ. We have helped our Thai friends to understand the Gospel message, and hopefully exalted our Lord in the process. I was able to play in the worship band for a service. We were able to visit some beautiful and exotic places. We prayed and shared with Thai believers in our cell groups. We visited the Indehars who are missionaries from Bethlehem. They provided us great insights, and I hope we gave them some encouragement. Oh, and we ate some fantastic food.

I love the atmosphere of community and purpose at Santisuk. All the staff and missionaries there aim to save souls, but never in a imposing fashion. They allow anyone to come to their facility and play games, or eat lunch. They have many events that students are invited to where they are introduced to God. Stories of Jesus are read in class with critical thinking exercises that follow. Everyone is encouraged to befriend and evangelize. Trust is established and truth is proclaimed.

I have loved my time here, though it was not without troubles and difficulties.

Last night one of my students (Yui) told me that she thinks I am different from other Americans. She said she likes how I smile so much. I paused for a moment to think to myself, "I don't think most people at home would say I smile very much. I'm usually a very melancholy person." So in all honesty I replied to Yui and said, "I guess you all make me really happy."

The World Needs Jesus

2008-09-30T21:11:00.003-05:00

The world needs Jesus. Thailand needs Jesus. Minnesota needs Jesus. My family needs Jesus. My neighbors need Jesus. Jasmine needs Jesus. My enemies need Jesus. I need Jesus.

(pause the music player > before viewing)

Heart of Darkness

2008-09-28T22:04:00.008-05:00

We are now in our last week of ministry here in Bangkok. I thank God that he has given us this amount of time to be here. It has been a reality check of sorts. Many of the fancies of this beautiful country have begun to be eclipsed by the reality of the darkness and ugly parts of this culture. I am not saying the U.S. is a better place by any means. However, after 4 weeks the rose color lenses have begun to be readjusted.

The last couple days have been difficult for me. I have had to face the horrors of my dark heart with a splash of cold water. God has given me gifts - I believe gifts of ministry. I love to explain the Gospel to people. Others have encouraged my ability to communicate the Gospel well. I also have some abilities in music. I see how these talents are needed in a place like this, and I desire to use them for God's glory. The reality is that after 4 weeks, I've had to realize that my heart is too weak to live in this culture. Other short trips would be possible, but at least for now, I couldn't handle life here.

There are spirit houses on every street. There are many demonic forces in play here. You do not have to go to a seedy part of town to drive by a night club where the women are waiting outside to lure an ox to its slaughter (Proverbs 5). These places are everywhere. I have high regard for the missionaries that are here. I still have 5 days left here, but even with some inner battles won and some lost, God's strength has kept me:

Psalm 91:14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."

When I remind myself of all the people that have given their money and prayers for us to come to Thailand, I feel the weight of my responsibility and it re-energizes my efforts. Last week, I gave out a lot of tracts on the street and had several deep conversations with students or people at the church. Many believers still don't understand very basic things about Christianity. I also had the chance to share in the church service about my testimony. I simply tried to lift God up for saving Jesse. This is what I will never get tired of hearing. Jesus Christ died for Jesse. All my sins have already found their place of punishment in the body of my savior. This is why I came to Thailand. I have loved these moments.

However, I've had to realize that while God can use me in Thailand, He certainly doesn't need me here. Maybe He has something far better for me that I have yet to see. I have to fight off any depression that arises from feeling unable to pursue a life where I actually feel useful. I desire so deeply to serve the Lord, especially through evangelism outside of the U.S. I love so much about this country, and want to see repentance flood through it. But I really wish I didn't have this diseased heart that is so prone to desire the poisons of sin. Because I love Jesus, I can't try to fool myself by telling myself I can live here. I would eventually fall, and become another example of Christian hypocrisy.

Romans 7:21-25 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

May the Lord grant me a joyful heart in my last week of proclaiming the saving grace of Christ in Bangkok. It is an honor to serve Him. May I see His Spirit move here through my words and actions, and continue far after Jasmine and I have left.

koh kret photos on flickr

2008-09-27T11:43:00.003-05:00

We just uploaded photos from our trip to Koh Kret Island :
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaznjesse/

"Ko Kret (also Ko Kred) is an island in the Chao Phraya River, 20 km north of Bangkok.

"The island dates only to 1722, when a canal was constructed as a shortcut to bypass a bend in the Om Kret branch of the Chao Phraya river. As the canal was widened several times, the section cut off eventually became a separate island. The island continues to serve as a refuge to the Mon tribes who dominated central Thailand between the 6th and 10th centuries and have retained a distinct identity in their flavor of Buddhism and, particularly at Ko Kret, their pottery.

"Ko Kret is renowned above all as a center for kwan raman, a style of Mon pottery, which is fundamentally just baked unglazed red clay carved with intricate patterns."
(source: wikitravel.org)

God's Surprising Salvation

2008-09-24T21:13:00.011-05:00

Two years ago we met two friends at English Camp named Pla and Ying. One night I spent quite some time in a discussion explaining the gospel to Pla. She seemed to understand a lot and had some great questions. We spent several meals with the both of them, but mainly had spiritual interactions with only Pla, including some really amazing emails.

Last Saturday, we got together with them both again. We went to a market and Wat Pho. Wat Pho is a temple with a huge reclining Buddha. This is apparently the position he took as he entered nirvana. Going to a temple seemed like a good time to open up the conversation to spiritual matters. I asked Ying what she believed. She began to explain some basic Buddhist beliefs. I understood, but reiterated, "what do you believe?" Then she told me, to my surprise, that she was a Christian.

Over dinner I asked her how she came to Christ. Two years ago she was a Buddhist. She shared how at Santisuk English School she began to have some interest and questions about the Bible. About one year ago, she began reading the book of Romans but was confused. She had a Christian friend who she asked to help explain some of the things she was reading. After coming to the end of Romans 2, she realized that she needed to become a Christian. Amazing! I asked if it was difficult for her to turn from the Buddhism that she was raised with, but she said it was not difficult for her, but it was for her family.

We were also able to explain some more things to Pla. Pla is very open to talking, and had been reading the Bible herself at one time. However, a friend had convinced her to remain Buddhist. I tried to explain to her the big difference between Christianity and Buddhism is that the Bible teaches that we can never do enough good to be accepted by God. We are far too sinful. The goodness God requires is a free gift only through Jesus Christ. Ying nodded her head.

I was not expecting this at all. This whole time I was only thinking that Pla would be the one who we are ministering to, but maybe Ying could also benefit if she listened in. I have come away more encouraged that God may use some really small thing here that I do to save someone. Simply teaching through some of the Bible stories may be how God uses me and Jasmine. Maybe I have some great conversations with someone about Christ that God uses, or perhaps God moves on some one's heart through something seemingly insignificant. What a great reminder that God saves in many, surprising ways.

Jasmine with Ying & Pla
(left to right)

praise report

2008-09-23T22:42:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, I became progressively ill. On Saturday and Sunday, I was tired and weak. We spent our whole weekend with students, so I tried to keep going. But by Monday, I was very sick and had a fever. I haven't had a fever in ages. Anytime I ate any food, I had sharp pains in my stomach. Everything ached. I wasn't able to teach our shared afternoon class nor my 7 pm class, so Jesse taught them both alone.. even though he wasn't feeling well either. I stayed in our apartment, trying to rest, but it was difficult. So I prayed earnestly to God to heal me. In my devotions, I have been reading a lot about Jesus healing the sick and casting out demons. I knew that I needed to cry out to Jesus to cast out my fever and heal me. I repented of my lack of enthusiasm for devotions in the previous days, of putting my priorities in the wrong places. I trusted that only He could heal me- medicine did not offer me any relief. But my repentance and my reliance did not heal me- God healed me. I implored Him to take away my fever, in the name of Jesus. Knowing that Jesus has the power to heal lame men, dying children, and the demon-possessed, I prayed that He would do the same for me. I asked Him to give me the faith to truly believe that He could make me well.

And He did.

After praying, I was able to sit up, and a lot of my ache and chills were gone. Within a couple hours, my fever was gone. I was able to get up and eat a little food. I slept very well on Monday night. Tuesday, I was still a little weak and couldn't eat much, but by the end of the day I felt almost back to normal. It is now Wednesday morning, and my stomach still gets a little upset, but I praise God that He took away my fever when I asked. At times, it is hard to believe 100% that God will heal you at that moment. There are doubts, even while praying, that maybe God will say "no", or "later"... or that Jesus isn't actually here right now telling me to "Get up and walk"...
But I asked Him to give the faith required, and He did.

Thank you, Jesus.

Reading this post by Pastor John has also been very encouraging for me today:
Preparing for Sudden Suffering.

quick picture post

2008-09-21T22:36:00.006-05:00

We ventured out alone on Friday to Koh Kret Island, where they are known for their clay pottery. The small island is inhabited by Mon people, and it has many small Wats (temples).

We invited our students over to our apt. thursday night for food & games. it was great fun.

Processing Thoughts in a Foreign Land

2008-09-19T05:47:00.003-05:00

I haven't spent much time gathering my thoughts to process everything that's been going on in the last three weeks. I think right now, I'm wishing I had more time. I feel as though Jasmine and I have just begun really connecting with our students. The times in the classroom have been great and a lot of fun. I think the lessons have cracked open the door to start discussing Christ more with the students. However, until last night I think the idea of any of our students talking to us as peers was not in their mindset. In this culture, teachers are above students. That's fine and good, but it seemed as though there was a bit of an arms length distance being kept. It's not as though anyone was stand off-ish, but maybe more cautious about having a real conversation with someone who is their teacher.

Last night we invited all three of our classes over to our apartment for ice cream and games. It was a total blast, and a lot of people came and stayed until 1 am. I really hope this helps break down any remaining barriers for the next two weeks, so that our students spend a little more casual time around the school with us. I have handed out tracts, and used a few opportunities in the classroom to share some Biblical truths, but I feel as though I want and can do more.

There's been a lot of other things going on (church services, cell group meetings, shopping while walking by the deformed and poor) that I haven't been really able to process fully yet.

Tomorrow we are meeting with a student that we originally met two years ago at the English camp. I had shared the gospel with this girl, and she had some really good questions at the time. We continued sharing with her through email for a while after the trip, but eventually broke communication. Please pray for us and for the girl (her name is Pla). Pray that while we are eating, or in the car, or whatever that the conversation would steer towards her soul and the gospel.

Thank you for your support, and please keep praying for us. It has been a struggle for both of us to maintain our personal devotions consistently. We are praying, but I feel like we need to be feeding more on His word.

Images from Thailand

2008-09-16T09:40:00.024-05:00

Friday, our friend Foon took us to the Ancient City. The Ancient City is a large park with replicas of various ancient temples and monuments from all over Thailand. There are also different types of homes, markets, and villages that reflect life from all parts of the country.

People praying to a god that cannot hear.

We also went to the Crocodile Farm.

I hate crocodiles and did not enjoy my visit. Our friend Foon seemed to have a good time.

These street performers were rocking the dulcimers at the J.J. Market.

Sunday night, I was a part of the all-English worship service. I was asked to share for about 5 minutes on the holiness of God. With that topic, I couldn't keep it to just 5 minutes.

Jasmine and I had a chance to celebrate anniversary # 6 with some delicious ice cream on Monday night.

Week One at Santisuk

2008-09-10T21:33:00.011-05:00

Teaching for our first week at Santisuk may have been more of a learning experience for us than our students. We are trying to figure out ways to work through the curriculum given, and still engage the class on a personal level. It has been a lot of fun, and also forced us to think about the rules of the English language a little more. We know how to say things correctly, but don't always know why.

The building that the school is in provides a great environment for students to come hang out in their off time. In fact that happens a lot. At any given time during the day there are probably 5-20 students hanging out downstairs in the lobby playing cards, speed scrabble, ping pong, or studying. This is a great community outreach aspect of the school. We have met many students that are not even in our classes, who want to ask us questions or just play a game. There are even a couple of groups that hang out at the school almost all day.

In class we take the students through different exercises to help them build their English skills. The last three days have been really cool as the curriculum has reading from the Gospel of Luke. We have been reading out loud, the record of Jesus healing the paralyzed man. The account continued with today's reading how only God can forgive sins, and Jesus proved His authority to forgive sins by healing the paralyzed man. There are some great comprehension questions that get the students thinking about the meaning of the text. We pray that God will open hearts as His word is read and heard in the classroom. Please pray with us that our students will start wrestling with questions about what they are reading.

Tonight Jasmine and I took out our two separate 7 pm classes out together. We got together at McDonald's (their choice). This was our first gathering outside of the school. It was a great time. I think that the students greatly appreciate us taking the time to have fun with them, since they spend much of their week working so hard at their jobs and in their studies. It is so important that we do not miss any opportunity to name the name of Christ with them and to connect the lessons from class to something greater in our life for them to see. We obviously want to build relationships and some trust with them, but also for them to know the desperate state of their soul.

On our way out the door, one of my students turned to me and said, "I really had a good time speaking with you." We had a great time establishing deeper connections, which I pray will develop into some more in depth conversations.

Hanging out at Micky D's in Thailand

Classes begin today

2008-09-07T21:21:00.002-05:00

Classes begin today at Santisuk English School. Jesse and I have 2 classes, each at "Level 1". Our 1st class, we will team teach at 1pm, and our 2nd class we have separately at 7pm. Each class is 2 hours long. Classes run Monday thru Thursday for the next 4 weeks.
Please pray for us today as we start our classes. Pray that during these 4 weeks, we will be able to teach our students well, and that their hearts will be open to the gospel.

Our Neighborhood

2008-09-07T02:34:00.006-05:00

We live on the 11th floor of The Mall Inn, next to The Mall in Bangkapi, Bangkok.
Here are some views from our apartment. This is only a small corner of Bangkok.

The church meets in cell groups on Sunday mornings. Jesse and I are in a cell group of 8, consisting mostly of staff from Santisuk English School & a few students. After cell group this morning, we ate lunch together.

Northern Thailand photos.

2008-09-05T02:55:00.006-05:00

Visiting Pui and her friends at her school. (Pui is standing left of Jasmine)

Kwan Phayao (Northern Thailand)

Cows (and buffalo) grazed next to the highways.

Beautiful flora at our hotel in Chiang Rai.

Giant Golden Buddha at Phayao temple.

Sawatdee!

2008-09-05T00:31:00.003-05:00

Hello from Bangkok!
We safely arrived last Monday night/Tuesday morning, after a few long flights. I think we have caught up on our jet lag. It's been good having a few days to settle in to our new surroundings before our teaching begins. Of course it is really hot. There is hot, then there is hot and humid, then there is I'm just sitting here in the shade, not moving, and my clothes are drenched in sweat - hot and humid. We really love Bangkok though.

I must admit a strong struggle as we walk around. Everyone stares at Jasmine, then at me. Everyone thinks Jasmine is Thai, and I presume I look like a sex tourist with his babe to everyone. I want to wear a big sign around my neck, but I hope God will work through this.

We spent a couple days in Northern Thailand visiting our Compassion child Pui at her school. It was great seeing her in person. She was very sweet, and showed us around her school, and introduced us to her friends. We were given the opportunity to pray for her. Her friend made a comment about how glad and proud she was that we are like her brother and sister, even though we live far away. I told her that we want to share the love and peace of Jesus Christ. The Compassion project teachers told us that they teach Pui the Bible, but she still considers herself Buddhist. We will continue to pray for her salvation, and send her our love and support in the future.

Tonight we will be attending the church service, which is in the same building as the English school. We'll get to meet up with Todd Indehar (missionary from Bethlehem), who is preaching. Then tomorrow is orientation, and the work will begin soon after.

Please continue to pray for us. We want to remain faithful in every circumstance. There is a lot going on in Bangkok, and it can be tiring trying to figure things out. It is challenging to have a God-ward heart with so much coming at us.

Hopefully, we can get some pictures up soon. Grace.

PS. There is a lot of political unrest in Bangkok, but that is closer to the Grand Palace, and not really affecting us at the time. However, it has caused some flight cancellations, and dented the tourism in Thailand. Hopefully things can get resolved soon.

A Message That is Not Us

2008-08-30T00:04:00.002-05:00

It is late, and we are trying to get everything in order before we fly out in the morning. In all my anxiousness, excitement, and other mixed emotions for our trip, I came to a sobering reality today that this trip really does not have to do with Jesse and Jasmine. Something happened 2,000 years ago. That event was so important that it is still news today.

A man who claimed to be God, named Jesus was crucified, bearing punishment for sins, and died. Three days later He returned to life, claiming victory over sin and death, validating His claims. This event happened before we were born, and we had nothing to do with it. This is all God's work, being totally done outside of us. This is the gift of salvation.

We are going to tell others about the most important event in history. God calls all believers to tell these truths. This good news has been spreading all over the world since that time, and will continue long after Jasmine and I are gone. For some reason this gives me confidence that He will be with us, and protect us, because this is His message. His Story. He will not let His message fail.

"we are witnesses of all that he did both in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a tree, but God raised him on the third day and made him to appear, not to all the people but to us who had been chosen by God as witnesses, who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. And he commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one appointed by God to be judge of the living and the dead. To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name."
Acts 10:39-43

goodnight, and au revoir (or whatever the Thai equivalent is)

Prayer Requests

2008-08-28T08:49:00.003-05:00

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ.."
Col. 4:2,3

Please pray for us, as we prepare to leave this weekend for Bangkok. On Saturday, we fly from Minneapolis to LA, with a 2 hour layover in Denver. During our layover, we plan on meeting Jesse's parents for lunch at the airport. We haven't seen them since Christmas and don't know when we will see them again, so please pray that there are no delays, no glitches, and everything goes as planned. Once in LA, we will be able to spend the rest of the day with my family. Again, please pray that there aren't any delays and we can spend as much time as possible with them. On Sunday, we leave from LAX to Bangkok (layover in Seoul).

Pray for safe traveling & smooth entry into Thailand.

Pray for good health during our stay.

Pray that God will use us to be a blessing to the Missionaries in Bangkok- that we will be effective in our work and always ready to share the gospel.

Pray for the Missionaries in Bangkok- The Cables and the Indehars. We will be working with the Cables at Santisuk English School and Peace Fellowship Church. We also plan on meeting and praying with the Indehars.

Pray for the Thai people, that their hearts and eyes will be opened to the Gospel, so that they may be saved.

Pray for our house/dog sitters Lydia and Sarah- that there will be no emergencies of any sort so they can enjoy having a house to themselves.

Pray for our dog Chevy- that he will keep in good health and that there will be no medical emergencies, as he is an old, epileptic doggie.

and please pray that God will give us the strength, joy and endurance needed daily to be working for Him in a foreign land for the next five weeks.

Thank you for your prayers.

Obama's Reason for Choice

2008-08-28T08:40:00.005-05:00

I tend to be pretty apolitical, but abortion has more to do with justice than it does politics. Please click here to listen to Greg Koukl dissect Barrack Obama's justification for his pro-choice stance. Obama's sort of reasoning is very typical of most pro-choicer's and is also totally bankrupt. Please consider this when you weigh how to cast your vote this November. The next president may be able to considerably change the make up of our Supreme Court, which could affect Roe vs. Wade. If you are pro-choice, think through the arguments that are brought up to test how valid your reasons are.

I also recommend visiting www.Abort73.com if you have not checked it out yet.

Jesus Music Radio

2008-08-25T17:50:00.001-05:00

Lately I have been trying to dig up more and more great music from the Jesus Movement era. I have fallen in love with the early 70's sound from groups who sang simple, sweet songs about their newly found savior. A couple weeks ago I came across a podcast/radio show called Full Circle that has turned me on tons of stuff I have never heard. Obviously most of us are familiar with the legends like Larry Norman and Keith Green, but the show has been great for unearthing many lost gems. Some of the songs I recall from my childhood in the church, but the majority of the music is brand new to me. I recommend checking out some of the podcast archives here.

When I heard the song I have playing here, called "The World Needs Jesus", by Malcolm and Alwyn I was deeply moved. The honesty of the music and it's message seemed to quell so much of the turmoil that I constantly wrestle with in my own heart. This is something doesn't usually happen when I listen to Christian radio these days.

Here are a couple other artists I recommend:

Love Song/ Chuck Girard (thanks Mom!)
Don Francisco (check out "I Don't Care Where You've Been Sleeping" and "He's Alive!")

Conflicting Desires of Christ and Buddha

2008-08-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

These are a few excerpts from a book called Sharing Your Faith with Buddhists by Madasamy Thirumalai.

"One of the cardinal declarations of Buddhism is that desire is evil, leading to the accumulation of bad karma that, in turn, leads to endless births, deaths, and rebirths. The Bible does not condemn desire as such, distinguishing between holy and unholy passions. The Word of God abounds in assurance that the desire of the righteous will be fulfilled. When we desire to do His will (Psalm 40:8), the Lord grants our heart's desire (Psalm 21:2). We are promised that "what the righteous desire will be granted" (Proverbs 10:24); "the desire of the righteous ends only in good" (Proverbs 11:23) (p. 143)."

It's interesting how Buddha found that life's sufferings and pains are the result of desire from which we need freedom. The belief of a Christian is that disconnecting from our desires is not the answer to our problems. However perverted they may be, our desires point us to the reality that our souls long for satisfaction. We are made to worship God, and Christ provides the way for our soul find it's home.

C.S. Lewis explains desire in The Weight of Glory this way:

"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased."

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."
Matthew 5:6

A Prayer

2008-08-22T08:57:00.010-05:00

Thank you, Lord. I am so weak and deficient. You are so strong and merciful. I am so unworthy of your Gospel. I do not live in a way that makes you look as beautiful as you really are. I can recall so many times this past week that I fell short of your glory. I have been impatient with my wife. I have been covetous and worldly. I have been lustful and a sluggard. My pride infects everything.

Yet, I am about to go to Thailand to tell others the message of Christ. How can someone so sinful be called to go spread your Gospel? I have no right. I feel so unfit for service to you...

But this is the Gospel. Is not the salvation you’ve given me a free gift, so that I cannot boast (Eph 2:9)? Didn’t you die for me while I was yet a sinner (Romans 5:8)? Yes, yes, I must remember this. Before the foundations of the world, you wrote my name in The Book of life of the Lamb who was Slain (Rev 13:8). No, I have no right, nor does anyone. That’s why I need the Gospel, and so does Thailand. Father, bind me to it. Let my deficiencies drive me to cling to you more and more. Thank you, for your mercies that are new every morning (Lam. 3:23). Increase my faith, Father.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me, Let me hide myself in Thee;

Let the water and the blood, From Thy wounded side which flowed,

Be of sin the double cure, Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;

Could my zeal no respite know, Could my tears forever flow,

All for sin could not atone; Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress; Helpless, look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly; Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath, When my eyes shall close in death,

When I rise to worlds unknown, And behold Thee on Thy throne,

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,Let me hide myself in Thee.

You Are Loved!

2008-08-20T13:45:00.001-05:00

"If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ... For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

(pause player before watching >)

You are invited

2008-08-17T21:16:00.003-05:00

Dear Twin Cities Friends,
You are invited to our home this Wednesday evening for a little "Bon Voyage" Prayer Meeting. Please join us for ice cream and floats. CLICK HERE to view the EVITE for more info.
Please email us at
jasminedworak[at]gmail.com to RSVP. Hope to see you soon!

Thailand Update: Opening Our Mouths Wide

2008-08-15T17:00:00.001-05:00

In two weeks Jasmine and I will be leaving for our mission trip Thailand. Our financial support is definitely behind at this point. If you were considering giving money, but haven't yet, now would be a really great time to pull that trigger. If possible, please consider giving liberally as an act of faith. Even if you want to give $10.00 or $20.00, everything helps and provides encouragement.

We still need to raise nearly $1,800.00 by August 30th. If you'd like to give, and need instructions on how, send me or Jasmine an email: fascinationjesse[at]gmail.com, jasminedworak[at]gmail.com

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Psalm 81:10

Save Yourself or Be Saved By Grace

2008-08-14T13:34:00.020-05:00

I found this testimony of Mary Joni Harris, who is a former Buddhist that converted to Christianity. The full article can be found here. Here is an excerpt that describes one of the biggest differences of these two beliefs:

According to the Buddhist worldview, all beings accumulate karma based on their actions, and karma dictates their life circumstances. When a person dies, the karma accumulated in that lifetime (and all previous lives) determines his or her lot in the next life.

To many Buddhists, this means that a person born into a wealthy family has good karma, while someone who lives in a poor, disease-infested village would have accumulated negative karma.

Buddhists believe karma keeps one trapped in an endless cycle of death and rebirth (samsara), and the only way out is through enlightenment. To become enlightened, one has to eliminate desire.

Buddha taught that desire is the root of suffering; that it causes attachment, which leads to suffering, and in turn causes other beings to suffer. This produces negative karma. If one eliminates desire and stops causing suffering, one can become enlightened, as he had.

When I look at how the sex trade continues to thrive in Thailand, Cambodia, and other places in Southeast Asia, it seems likely due to this belief system. According to the Buddhist worldview, if a 10 year old girl ends up as a slave in a brothel, it is the result of her previous life's choices. She has bad karma that she has carried through into this life. The only way to be released from this bondage is through her own enlightenment, which can only be obtained through self.

Harris continues to describe her attraction to Christ:

What's more, I discovered that what I had sought through the Buddhist path—wisdom, compassion, and lovingkindness—were found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The supreme act of compassion was His sacrifice on the cross—that while we were still sinners, He died for us.

We as believers have an example and purpose for caring for those who are suffering. Christ came to reach the lost, and save us. As we look to Him, we give up our comforts for reaching others with acts of mercy while proclaiming His message. His greatest sacrifice is of course the bearing of our due punishment on the cross.

Thailand is 95% Buddhist. The central territorry (where Bangkok is located) contains 17.9 million people, of whom only 00.4% are evangelical. Jasmine and I continue to plan our 5 week trip to Bangkok, where we will teach Thai people that salvation is of God alone. Please join our efforts, by giving prayer and financial support if you have not already.

Paul Washer Video

2008-08-13T18:00:00.001-05:00

Please watch this video. This man has a passion for God's glory, and is speaking against the lies that are within the church itself. We need to take an honest look at ourselves, and see if anyone could tell we are a follower of Christ by how we live. I wonder about myself in this aspect.

We also have to stop assuring someone who is blatantly sinning, that they are saved because they said "asked Jesus in their heart" when they were a child. If someone has "fallen away", perhaps we should assume they are not truly regenerate.

(pause the music player before watching >)

Where Are Our Missionary Scars?

2008-08-12T21:01:00.004-05:00

I listened to a sermon by Paul Washer today, entitled “The Kingdom is Like a Treasure” (click to listen). If you are not familiar with Paul Washer, I would highly recommend checking out some of his work at Heart Cry Missions. He has lived all over the world, doing missions and evangelism. He is a passionate and broken-hearted preacher whose messages regularly bring great conviction upon his listeners. He has a very unique perspective on the western culture, because of his world travels.

Even though it's not the whole aim of the message, I was hit with a point that Washer makes about how truly seeing God’s kingdom as our priceless treasure will motivate activity in missions, rather than building up American’s version of treasure (house, cars, t.v., games, etc.) He makes a remark that he could take a typical car he sees in a church parking lot, and build a church in another country for the same cost.

With joy, we are to give everything possible to the great commission, and support missions. This is our calling. He describes that our role in missions is actually very simple:

“You are either called to go down into the well, or you are called to hold the rope for those that go down. Either way there are going to be scars on your hands. It’s just as costly to hold the rope, and it causes many scars to hold the rope, as it does for the one going down. Where are your scars? Show them to me. What has the great commission cost you? What has the bride of Jesus Christ cost you? What has the will of God cost you? Where are your scars?”

I hope this doesn’t come across as a guilt trip into giving to our Thailand trip. I actually felt more convicted over myself, and where my money and time has been going. Most things we spend ourselves on in life are truly insignificant. Seeing the newest movie, going out for drinks, my own health, and even the glory of the Olympics are worthless ash in perspective of what Christ calls us to do for His name.

Practically, what could we do in one month if we simply saved our daily money on snacks, coffee, tea, or whatever, and gave it to missions? It may affect our prayer life as well. We may pray more when we are tempted to blow money for our own fleshly delights.

Are we working and making money to see God’s kingdom come, or making money to build our own little kingdom? Are we just wasting our money and life? My attitude toward missional giving needs to change from “what can I afford?” to “how much more can I sacrifice?” Let go of possessions today, and with joy, buy a field with a treasure in it.

“whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward."

- Jesus Christ, Matthew 10:42

"I would rather light a candle than curse the darkness" -Eleanor Roosevelt

2008-08-05T20:13:00.003-05:00

Aid victims of Human Trafficking in Bangkok by purchasing a Soy Wax Candle for $10 (reg. $14) . 100% of the proceeds will benefit NightLight Bangkok. Night Light combats the sexual exploitation of women and children (both Thai and foreign) in one of the main red light districts in Bangkok. I have a few of these candles left, and I would like to sell the remaining candles before we leave for Thailand. Email me at
jasminedworak[at]gmail.com if you'd like to purchase one. They are also available for sale at Shannon Aleczander Salon & Spa in NE MPLS.

-Handpoured Natural Soy Wax
-65+ hour burn time
-7 oz. Reusable Glass Jar
-Packaged for gifting
-Available scents:
Vanilla Orchid
Frankincense & Myrrh
Grapefruit Melon

You can also support NightLight by purchasing their beautiful handcrafted jewelry.

The Reason to Evangelize

2008-07-29T23:08:00.004-05:00

Watch and listen to this. This should rearrange the motive for sharing our faith, and energize us as well. Isn't He worth it?
(pause the music player before watching >)

This weekend is your chance to experience the joy of telling others of the gospel:

Uptown Art Fair
Spend the day exploring Uptown and sharing the mystery of the gospel. Meet at the Downtown Campus, Room 111, 12:45PM, Sunday, August 3rd.

For more information, contact Deb Pendergast at 651-766-0086 (home, office & cell.) or travelmaps[at]yahoo.com

Visitor 055

2008-07-25T21:23:00.013-05:00

Last night I was part of the worship team at Lino Lakes Correctional Facility. Dan Holst was kind enough to let me participate, knowing that my heart for the ministry exceeds my ability to play guitar (or any other instrument). The beauty was seeing God being worshipped loudly by the inmates. My guitar was very peripheral.

While Pastor Kempton preached an amazing message on Christ's supremacy, I looked around at the faces in the room. I began to think about justice. It's quite possible there are many men locked up, for doing one very bad thing. One bad action can equate to 5, 10, 25 years of punishment. Perhaps many men were repeat offenders, which would increase their time. The amount of punishment indicates the grievousness of the offense.

This is the form of justice that our society survives on. No matter how forgiving or liberal one's beliefs may be, nobody wants a guilty sex offender or wife beater walking around their streets without any accountability. If a man loses control of his anger and assaults someone one time, we deem it just and necessary to punish him for many years in prison.

Remember Jesus' words that "if we are angry with our brother, we are guilty of murder in our hearts" (paraphrase). So, if we lose control of our anger one time and it turns to hate, what is our just punishment in God's eyes? What if we give into anger or lust one time a week? What about one time every day? The judgment is mounting.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:36

But the demand for justice increases when we discover who the offense is against. Our crimes are not only against other humans, but a King. The King. It is usually an outrage in our society if someone is unjustly murdered. Now if a someone were to kidnap and murder the Queen of England, it would lead to millions crying out for vengeance. Perhaps even war would break out if was done by another country. The severity of the crime escalates when the one being harmed has more honor.

Christ is far more than an earthly queen or king. He is eternal and perfect. He is innocent. He has never done anything unjust. He has never lied. He is always good. Therefore, the demand for vengeance is MASSIVE. If 25 years of prison is just punishment for one heinous crime; eternity in hell does not seem cruel or unreasonable for millions of villainous crimes against the perfect, holy creator.

Thank God that He is not merely just, but also merciful and compassionate. Our sins had to be dealt with. Crimes cannot go on unpunished. Our Father punished Jesus because of our sins.

But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

Evangelism Event

2008-07-22T08:31:00.008-05:00

The evangelism team at Bethlehem has planned two outreach days in the next few weeks. For those of you who keep saying, "I really need to share my faith more", or "I've been wanting to do that." This is your opportunity! This is not merely for the veteran evangelist; this is for every believer who wants to be obedient to their master. I can pretty much guarantee that you have nothing more important, or rewarding to do on a Saturday. Here's the skinny:

We will begin with a joyous time of worship and prayer. Worship lead by our ministry! Then we will go out in teams to share our faith in Christ (training provided), with people attending the...

- Minneapolis Aquatennial, Xcel Energy River Blast. An event that proceeds the Target Fireworks Show, the largest of its kind west of the Mississippi. Meet at the Downtown Campus, Room 111, 7:15PM, Saturday, July 26th.

- Uptown Art Fair–one of the top fine arts festivals in the Midwest. Spend the day exploring Uptown and sharing the mystery of the gospel. Meet at the Downtown Campus, Room 111, 12:45PM, Sunday, August 3rd.

For more information, contact Deb Pendergast at 651-766-0086 (home, office & cell.) or travelmaps[at]yahoo.com.

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. John 12: 25, 26

"that's not really my style"

2008-07-16T08:00:00.002-05:00

I have added a slew of new songs to the flashplayer on the blog. It will now cycle through a total of about 85 songs.

I do have a purpose in the adding the specific songs I've put up. I really want to provide an eclectic collection of old and new God-honoring music that will edify and uplift the listener. Styles are ranging from indie to trance to hip hop to country, and more. Music has a profound effect on our mind, attitude, and spirit. Hopefully these songs will serve as a reminder to us of God's many incredible and diverse attributes.

While there are a few exceptions, most of the songs are purposely non-CCM. We should be stretching our music palette beyond our immediate tastes. Especially when it can build our faith. I do listen to some CCM, but I really want to expose others to songs they never would have heard before, or have long forgotten. If we are content to say, "Thanks, but that's not really my style", consider this passage:

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable... - 1 Corinthians 12:21,22.

*For more depth on the theology of Christian arts, and how we should embrace, and participate in the arts please take some time at the Gaius Project website. I have also added a link in the sidebar - >

My criteria for choosing these songs was not just looking at the record label they are on. I wanted songs by authentic believers, making music with specific mention of God and/or Biblical themes. I have either researched the artists, or known them personally. I have self-vetoed quite a few of exciting new bands that I discovered. Once I read more into their interviews and found their beliefs severely lacking, or heretical, I decided it would be disingenuous to add them to the song list. It's not enough for me just to see that they play at a Christian music festival.

If you are spending some time on the computer and need a diversion from your regular music collection, feel free to leave the music player going on in the background. Let me know if you have any questions about a specific artist. I hope it benefits you well.

God-Centered vs. Man-Centered Evangelism

2008-07-15T13:12:00.004-05:00

I recommend reading this post by Abraham Juliot on some important distinctions between man-centered and God-centered evangelism. It's somewhat lengthy, but has it some great points that we should be aware of.

Some may wonder why even bother with "semantics". Evangelism is evangelism right? While I believe God can use even the most feeble evangelistic attempt to save someone, that does not excuse us from enforcing truly Biblical outreach. If we are teaching people to repent for the wrong reasons, it could be a matter of eternity. For them and us.

Commission Service Date

2008-07-13T15:55:00.002-05:00

Jesse and I will be commissioned for our Thailand Trip before the Saturday night service on Aug. 23rd at Bethlehem Baptist.

Thailand Update: Behold the Revealed Works of the Lord!

2008-07-10T12:24:00.022-05:00

Revelation 15:4
"Who will not fear, O Lord, and glorify your name? For you alone are holy. All nations will come and worship you, for your righteous acts have been revealed."

Thailand is currently among the world's 100 most unreached/least reached nations. It is located in the 10/40 window. The Lord's righteous acts have been revealed in Jesus Christ. Millions of Thais are trying to ease their conscience by appeasing spirits with sacrifices, or relying on their good works for a better reincarnation. May many Thai people hear the Good News and join in worship of Him.

This September Jasmine are planning to return to Bangkok. We will be given the chance and time to share the gospel one on one with Thai students who are learning English. The opportunities will be many over the course of 5 weeks. Please join with us in taking part of the great commission.

I want to thank many of you whom have already contributed to our trip. It is amazing, and humbling to see the faithfulness of God through His senders. Thank you so much for getting behind our efforts. We don't take your giving lightly.

In order to meet our budget goal, we still need to raise close to $3,000.00 by the end of August. Honestly, that kind of freaks me out. It's a pretty big chunk left to raise. Pray that we would not grow anxious as the Lord tests our faith, and that He would provide for our needs.

If you have not already contributed financially, and wish to do so, please email me at fascinationjesse [at] gmail.com. I'll send you a prayer card and support letter with instructions on how to send your tax deductable donation.

2 Corinthian 9:10, 11

"He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God."

Cornerstone

2008-07-03T11:30:00.015-05:00

Every time the 4th of July hits, I tend to recall my experiences at Cornerstone Festival. Cornerstone always takes place around this time, and is one of the biggest Christian musical festivals in the states, appealing fans of mostly punk, hardcore, electronic, and other more eclectic genres. I believe I've performed there 3 or 4 times, and attended on at least another 3 occassions.

My feelings at this point are very mixed. I have a lot of enjoyable memories there. By far the best thing about Cornerstone to me, is that I found my incredible wife there 7 (HOLY SMOKES I'M OLD!) years ago.

Looking back at the interaction I had with both fans and artists is what troubles me. This is supposed to be a Christian festival, yet I don't recall having one conversation with anyone about how we should be using our talents for the name of Christ. Most of of us used Christ for the sake of our own name. Bands want more people to come to their show, so they can sell more CDs and shirts, and have a "successful" tour.

Many promoters are so excited to bring in a crowd for their ministry that they'll put anything labelled as "Christian" up on stage. The mediocre musician/nominal believer can then say, "we're Christian", and gain entry into the Junior Varsity Rock 'n Roll Team. Certainly this was the case of most my experiences, not just Cornerstone in particular.

I'm pretty ashamed at most of my intentions through those years. Have fun, play music, be a mini-rockstar. "Jesus? Yeah, I'm a Christian. Let's go see a show and check out girls." Have mercy, Lord.

I'm not sure what to conclude from all of this. Are most of these people even truly saved? Seeing how many members of these bands that have completely abandoned the faith in subsequent years, makes this seem doubtful to me. The other thought is that there are many who are genuinely born again, but the nature of the music scene in general is completely contrary to nurturing any spritual growth.

There are some exceptions though. In retrospect, I've gained a deeper affection for the small handful of the artists that I performed with or near, that truly did have a mission of Christ's glory. I wish I had been more spirituatlly mature at that time to truly appreciate these exceptions.

I don't really have any idea of a solution at this point. I don't know if it's a system that can really be fixed unless a revival happens. For now, I'll keep weeding through the bands to find a gem once in a blue moon. I also know I'm responsible to God for the talents he's given me. I want my songs to bless and build up the body of Christ, and to do it without a fee attached.

I considered going back to Cornerstone this year. There were about 5 bands out of about 47,206 that I wanted to see. I was particularly interested in seeing Cool Hand Luke. Here's a video I found of them at Cornerstone from a few years ago. You can see the burden they are bearing, and it's really refreshing. Pray for more bands that have a heart like this. Watch the video, and listen to a couple of their songs below...
(pause the flash player before watching/listening --->)

" This Is Love "
" Cinematic "

Free Song for Free Souls

2008-06-30T11:35:00.004-05:00

Two weekends ago, we sang a song I wrote in the church service at Bethlehem Downtown. It was really encouraging to me, to see my "gifts" being used for the benefit of others. I hope that was the case anyway. I've uploaded the song here. The recording is far from flashy, so don't get too excited. I just made a basic recording to get in the hands of the worship team. Feel free to download and keep.

The Judgment Seat

lyrics:

v1. who is this that I see

before God's judgment seat?

a liar full of anger, pride and impurity

who is this wretched sinner

before God's holy throne?

hell must be the verdict heard

if I'm the guilty one...

chorus1

oh Lord, I plead for mercy

I have no hope at your feet

consider Christ, who was crucified

and took the wrath stored up for me

v 2. all my life before him

exposed for the King to see

not one idle word

no not one careless deed

can escape the judgment

of God's righteous decree

oh how He hates the wicked

but would He die for me?

chorus 2

oh Lord, I plead for mercy

I have no hope in my deeds

consider Christ, who paid my price

and count his life to me (2x)

oh Lord have mercy

oh the Lamb, oh the Lamb

the Lamb of God for sinners slain

oh the Lamb

who took the wrath from my name

oh the Lamb

of your mercies I will now proclaim

the Lamb of God

In case you don't know, there are a few songs I wrote playing in the Flash Player on this blog. They are under the artist name Fascination. "Scarlet" is about the complete forgiveness of sins. "Alpha" is about total depravity/irresistable grace. "Neither the Tomb nor Death" is about the brevity of life, and entering into eternity after death.

For more info on my current music project go to: www.myspace.com/fascinationsong.

"Goods"

2008-06-23T09:57:00.010-05:00

One of the exciting things about my participation in the short film called "Goods", was that my music was used as the soundtrack. A lot of music I write is very thematic/cinematic, so it seemed like a great fit.

When my friend called me up about helping out I got really inspired, and wrote a theme. I then continued to create a couple of variations of the same song, each one getting slightly more complex as the story unfolded. I was only going off imagination at this point, since the actual story had not been written.

Fortunately it worked out to use the material I offered. They ended up using only the first song, plus a different song I'd been working on called "Bloodtheme". I thought I'd upload them, in case anyone was interested in hearing them. It's unlikely that I'll use the these for anything else.

Theme 1

Theme 2

Theme 3

Theme (reprise)

Bloodtheme (this is an early, incomplete version of this song)

Sight Through Darkened Eyes

2008-06-18T14:48:00.046-05:00

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to play a small part in a short film. Some of the guys from the Desiring God video department put it together for the 48 hour film project. My role was that of a pimp, and the scene I was in was pretty dark. I'm no thespian, but I did my best to understand the character and make it believable.

I asked myself: Who could abuse a woman or child to gain financially, all without a troubled conscience? How could I try to see through these eyes? People like this exist, exchanging human souls like they would a pack of gum or cigarettes. What kind of person could treat humans as possessions? But it became quite clear... someone like me.

I took on the role of this man with his horrible behaviours, and it was troubling. I was telling others on set, "don't hate me, I'm not really this bad." That's not true. God has merely preserved me the stains of these extreme behaviours, yet my heart is every bit as damnable. If you think yourself better, beware of Jesus' parable.

"Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

After shooting my scenes, I drove home through a not so nice part of town, and I began realizing God's physical restraints have often kept me from plundering the depths of my sin more than I have already. That's a scary thought. Had I been born in an impoverished family maybe I would have found a path that led to more theft, fighting, or abusing for some gain? Had I been born in a wealthier family may maybe I would have yielded that power to indulge more in sins' decadence? Only God knows how you or I would behave in different situations, however the point is that we are just as depraved as anyone. Situation doesn't change a wicked heart. Whether rich, poor, or in the middle, all sinners tend to justify themselves.

I have used people. I have selfishly hurt others for my gain, or simply to exert power. I have been guilty of forgetting that man is made in God's image, and neglected the reality of their precious soul. If you are unable to confess that this horror exists in your own heart then there you stand... the pharisee.

The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Genesis 6:5

Seeing the Spirit Move

2008-06-11T10:00:00.013-05:00

Acts 9:17
Ananias departed and entered the house. And laying his hands on him he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit." And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized;

I read this verse in my devotions this morning, and realized that I got to experience something similar to this last night. I was doing street evangelism in downtown Minneapolis, when I approached a group of teens sitting on a bench. I mainly had a conversation with one of the more outspoken girls, while others listened and chimed in.

At the beginning of the conversation she was bright and outgoing. "I would go to heaven", she said with a smile, when I asked where she was going when she died. The rest of the conversation was not uncommon. She considered her works to be pretty good; good enough anyway. After walking her through God's standards, I saw her face change. It seemed as though something like scales fell from her eyes. "I would go to hell", was her new sobered response to my original query. She was holding back tears that were welling up.

Something supernatural occurred there. I did not have any clever scheme that I used to manipulate her emotions. I did not berate her into tears. God moved, and I was there to see Him working. God the Spirit convicts of sin. I was simply the postman delivering an important letter from another country. When she read the letter something happened.

Now I don't know if she will come to a saving faith or not. However, what I saw was God revealing to someone that the exposure of their sins in God's holy courtroom would deserve damnation. Often this is the hardest part of evangelism. I've heard it said that getting people saved isn't hard, but getting them lost is the difficulty.

The girl thanked me, as I implored her to go to God and cry to Him for forgiveness that very night. The only remedy for real guilt is actual forgiveness. Pray that she will read the Gospel of John I gave her. His work is not finished when I've finished mine.